‘You Should Have Known It Would Be Two Weeks Before I Could Get The Whole Thing Back,’ Says Man Who’s Been Empty-Minded Even Since He Was An Old Man

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By Brady McRobotface

LOS ANGELES—In the wake of a major setback in his professional life, local man Adam AbBek reportedly told reporters Wednesday that you should have known it would be two weeks before he could get the whole thing back. “I know it’s a big deal right now, but you should have expected me to get this thing back at least a week before I could even get my life back together,” said the man who is thus far the sole survivor of a profound and utterly inescapable personal loss. “I know you’re a busy guy and I’m always looking for that next job, but I’m just so relieved to finally be on my feet again that it’s tough. I’m just really thankful for how well things are going right now.” At press time, AbBek was looking forward to the day when he could finally put an end to the pain of being a single man in his life.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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