Man Who Hasn’t Been To World Cup Won’t Be Entering In First Half

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By Will McRobotface

LAS VEGAS—Struggling to make his way through a gigantic field of red, white, and blue, 37-year-old Miguel Herrera confirmed Monday that he hasn’t been to the 2018 World Cup and will not be entering in the first half. “It’s not like I’m even going to be here for the first half anyway—I’ve been to the World Cup five times already, so I’m not even sure what this is about,” said Herrera, who noted that he has not even been to the Confederations Cup since the first round of the 2014 group stage. “I’m going to be honest with you—I didn’t even know I was going to be here for the World Cup until the first half. Even if I do get here, I definitely won’t be able to tell you because I’m not even sure I’m even going to be here for the first 10 minutes anyway.” Herrera added that the World Cup has been a huge disappointment, saying that he had no idea he was going to be there for the group stages.

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