CNN Studying Whether To Run Any Additional Data About Last Night’s U.S. Election


By Wm McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Calling it a major policy decision that would impact the entire nation, CNN has begun analyzing the results of last night’s U.S. election to determine whether to run additional data about the event’s aftermath. “We’ve already begun many hours of preliminary analysis of the final results from the 2016 election, and we’ll analyze the data at a high level during the next few days to determine whether we should run additional empirical research on whether or not voters at the polls last night were surprised by the results of the election,” said CNN senior vice president of news and analysis Janine Palmore, adding that the network has already begun depositing the results of its latest election analysis into its database of publicly accessible election data, which will no doubt be updated with the latest figures after the results of the next two presidential elections. “Our analysis of the final results in the last night’s presidential election have already indicated that there is no doubt in the minds of millions of Americans that their vote will be decisive if the country heads toward a significant split in the upcoming midterm elections. In addition, we’ve already begun polling the results from last night’s congressional elections to determine whether or not the country will be headed toward a partisan deadlock in the upcoming midterm elections, which will impact many of the most important laws enacted by this country’s elected leaders.” At press time, CNN had announced it would run a new series of polls on the state of play in the upcoming midterms.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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