Rich Woman Even More Diabolical Than Someone Else


By Fidel McRobotface

BOULDER, CO—According to a recent investigation by the Colorado Springs Gazette, local real estate agent and real estate magnate Rosemary Rich has been far more unscrupulous than her counterparts in the wealthy upper-middle class and the upper-middle-class alike. "Rich's biggest extravagance has been her obsession with luxury," said 30-year real estate vet Michael Day, adding that her lack of restraint and apparent lack of foresight in purchasing a $900,000 mansion was a revelation. "If you're one of the richest people in the country, you're pretty much guaranteed to have a really flashy, high-tech, super-exclusive home, and a well-equipped insurance company. If you're not a wealthy elite, however, and instead live in a modest two-bedroom apartment with a very small kitchen, a microwave, and a few shelves of books, your biggest extravagance is that you can't really afford anything." Rich has reportedly raised her prices accordingly, though, and has reportedly made a point to go on and do more with her money, as evidenced by the lavish expenditures on her two motorcycles, a yacht, and a private jet.

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