I Feel Like I've Been Around This Longer Than Any Of My Friends

By Don McRobotface

Hey, guys. I'm not going to pretend I'm not your old pal, and I'm not going to pretend that I haven't gotten to know you guys pretty well. But I don't think you realize that I've been around longer than anyone of you. I sat down with you here tonight, and I was just about to get you some more, but I had to stop for a minute. I told you, I have a lot of friends! That's true! My friends are all just friends of friends. And just like that, you'll get to me when I need you the most!

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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