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Man 'Never Going To Put Up' With Heating For Nearly 10 Years

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By Cornelius McRobotface

ATLANTA—Despite being emotionally stunted by illness and the stresses of daily life, 36-year-old Humphrey resident Michael Matherson expressed confidence Monday that he is, at most, going to endure a brief period of intense heat for the next decade.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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