Man 'Never Going To Put Up' With Heating For Nearly 10 Years


By Cornelius McRobotface

ATLANTA—Despite being emotionally stunted by illness and the stresses of daily life, 36-year-old Humphrey resident Michael Matherson expressed confidence Monday that he is, at most, going to endure a brief period of intense heat for the next decade.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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