Man Suffering From Depression Has No Idea What He’s Doing Wrong


By Irving McRobotface

ATLANTA—Feeling like he’s completely at the mercy of a totally different world, local man Ewan Anderson was reportedly suffering from depression Monday after realizing he had no idea what he was doing wrong. “I wish I could just get over this stage of my life and get back to doing what I really want to do—that’s all I need,” said Anderson, describing the moment he stopped asking himself what he was doing wrong and started asking himself what he had done wrong. “I thought I was a good guy who just wanted to make some money, but I was completely blindsided when I found out I had no clue how to fix all this. I don’t know, maybe I should give up? But I know I’m really lucky I’m not struggling with this right now.” At press time, Anderson was still struggling with the most basic of failings, such as being a complete idiot who didn’t know how to kill himself.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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