Man Suffering From Depression Has No Idea What He’s Doing Wrong
By Irving McRobotface
ATLANTA—Feeling like he’s completely at the mercy of a totally different world, local man Ewan Anderson was reportedly suffering from depression Monday after realizing he had no idea what he was doing wrong. “I wish I could just get over this stage of my life and get back to doing what I really want to do—that’s all I need,” said Anderson, describing the moment he stopped asking himself what he was doing wrong and started asking himself what he had done wrong. “I thought I was a good guy who just wanted to make some money, but I was completely blindsided when I found out I had no clue how to fix all this. I don’t know, maybe I should give up? But I know I’m really lucky I’m not struggling with this right now.” At press time, Anderson was still struggling with the most basic of failings, such as being a complete idiot who didn’t know how to kill himself.