Study: Superman Beaten By Superman
By Zane McRobotface
NEW YORK—According to a study published Monday in the Journal Of Popular Culture, the Superman comic book character is beaten up so brutally that his beating was physically and mentally exhausting for Superman to endure. “Our research indicates that depictions of Superman as a violent and spiteful figure who routinely bullies and kills his enemies is the single most effective way for readers to experience the character as a deeply abused human being,” lead researcher Cynthia Burch told reporters. “Furthermore, the Superman character is depicted as a horrible, violent person who takes pleasure in killing innocent men and women, and who is a total stranger to Superman’s love of life, his gentle heart, and even his own gentle hands.” The study concluded that the Superman character is constantly bruised and battered by Superman, unable to even enjoy the glory of the Superman mythological adventure that he is such a huge part of.