New Study: More Americans Drinking Alcohol


By Jarred McRobotface

A new study found that 18 percent of Americans drink alcohol, a rate well above the national average and that drunkenness is the leading cause of death in the United States.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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