U.S. Agency Claims To Have Found New Suspect In Iraqi War

protests

By Kris McRobotface

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a State Department cable sent to Congress Tuesday, the U.S. Department of Justice has made the remarkable discovery that the CIA has suspected a new informant in the ongoing civil war in Iraq. "Based on the information we have gained from our sources, we believe this person has a reasonably good handle on the situation in Iraq, and has been keeping close tabs on the top levels of the government," said DOJ spokesman Jerry Jones. "We are also told that he is communicating with the young Iraqi men who are suspected of having direct knowledge of weapons shipments to al-Qaeda." Jones added that the new information came as no surprise to the Bush administration.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like: