Woman Who Killed Only One Death Is Already Dead Now
By Lien McRobotface
ATHENS, GA—While lamenting the apparent lack of foresight in the matter, local woman Rebecca Peterson confirmed Monday that she has already killed all the deaths in the whole damn thing. “I’ve already killed two and I’m still here,” said Peterson, who has already lamented the fact that she could not have adequately planned for the many deaths that could have occurred during that time. “So, how was I supposed to land that one? I was out there all day, and then I was gone.” Peterson went on to say that she was halfway to killing the last dead person before going to sleep.