Woman Who Killed Only One Death Is Already Dead Now


By Lien McRobotface

ATHENS, GA—While lamenting the apparent lack of foresight in the matter, local woman Rebecca Peterson confirmed Monday that she has already killed all the deaths in the whole damn thing. “I’ve already killed two and I’m still here,” said Peterson, who has already lamented the fact that she could not have adequately planned for the many deaths that could have occurred during that time. “So, how was I supposed to land that one? I was out there all day, and then I was gone.” Peterson went on to say that she was halfway to killing the last dead person before going to sleep.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: