German's Suggesting That He See The New ‘Black Panther’ Trailer
By Dewitt McRobotface
ROME—In a series of cryptic tweets, the German government reportedly suggested that the man who directed the new Black Panther film in February and is rumored to be a major film studio executive could be a man who has directed a series of trailer inserts. “In order to confirm our theory that the man is indeed the one responsible for the Black Panther trailer, we’ve instructed our experts to study every opening scene of the newest installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and run them through a test of every sentence in the trailer,” said the anonymous official, who confirmed the two-minute-long footage of a man in a black suit directing a group of black-clad warriors against the backdrop of a lush tropical jungle has been the source of speculation for several months and is the only evidence the film is a direct sequel to the 2014 blockbuster Avengers: Age Of Ultron. “To actually root in this information, we’ve also instructed our experts to make repeated runs through the trailer’s first 75 minutes. If they fail to find a common theme, then we’ll have to assume that the film’s director has no responsibility for the trailers’ subtle but significant criticisms, and the German government will no longer be able to confirm the existence of the next Black Panther movie.” At press time, the government had reportedly announced plans to release an official statement on the matter once the video of the man directing a trailer was seen by a large group of other people and the person with the black suit was finally revealed.