Rock Band Going For Record-Breaking $4 Million


By Deon McRobotface

NEW YORK—In a record-breaking $4 million sales year that also included albums, live performances, and merchandise sales, local rock band the Rolling Stones are hoping to go for a record-breaking $4 million this year. “We’re not just making records here, we’re making records all across the world,” said lead singer Jimmy Page, who also announced the new album, which is expected to be released in September, would be the band’s best-selling album as of that date. “This album will be a classic rock classic that many people will admire for years, and it’s going to be a huge hit overseas. We have more merchandise than ever before, and we’re selling like crazy. We can’t believe how much we’re getting paid to do this.” The Rolling Stones also announced plans to finish the new album before the new year starts.

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