Woman Who Leads Nation In Calories Burned For First Time


By Dominick McRobotface

WASHINGTON—In its first-ever major fatality, a 35-year-old woman who leads the nation in the number of calories burned for the first time is responsible for the deaths of three individuals and the wounding of at least 15 others.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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