‘I'm Just A Regular Joe,’ Says Man Who Hasn’t Seen A Single X Factor In His Life


By Bennett McRobotface

FORT WAYNE, IN—Saying that he has not seen a single factor to determine whether he is worthy of such accolades and honors, local man Marcus Bender, known to friends and family as the man who doesn’t see a single X factor in his life, told reporters Tuesday that he is simply a regular Joe who has never seen one. “I’m just a regular guy who doesn’t have the qualifications to have the greatest success in the world, who doesn’t have the right life experiences, who doesn’t have the world-class career I’ve had—who has never even seen a single thing that can determine whether you’re a worthy person with the potential to change the world for the better,” said Bender, adding that he is “just another average Joe who doesn’t have the right combination of skills and experiences to be able to make a difference. “I’m a guy who’s just a regular guy who doesn’t have the ability to change the world for the better.” Bender went on to note that he has never seen a single person with the ability to make his own major life decisions.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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