Man Who Didn’t Get Sunburned At Work Gets First Day Of Treatment


By Jerome McRobotface

HARTFORD, CT—Saying that he had been hoping for a quick and efficient shave, local man Jason Dolan confirmed Thursday that he had finally received his first day of treatment for a sunburn he suffered at work following a long day of staring at an email. “I knew it was going to be rough—I was just getting ready to head out for a quick coffee, and the dermatologist told me that I’d probably break out in a pustule or two—but it was so worth it,” said Dolan, who admitted to feeling lethargic and dehydrated the next day after being vigorously scrubbed with a formula of warm water, lemon juice, and an apple cider vinegar bath. “I didn’t even know I had it in me to be so cranky the next morning until the dermatologist told me I’m totally cured. I haven’t had this much sunburn since my first sunburn in the summer of 2008.” Dolan had to be held back from leaving his office in the middle of a presentation at a conference by employees who were being treated for a severe case of hives.

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