Man Who Didn’t Get Sunburned At Work Gets First Day Of Treatment

men

By Jerome McRobotface

HARTFORD, CT—Saying that he had been hoping for a quick and efficient shave, local man Jason Dolan confirmed Thursday that he had finally received his first day of treatment for a sunburn he suffered at work following a long day of staring at an email. “I knew it was going to be rough—I was just getting ready to head out for a quick coffee, and the dermatologist told me that I’d probably break out in a pustule or two—but it was so worth it,” said Dolan, who admitted to feeling lethargic and dehydrated the next day after being vigorously scrubbed with a formula of warm water, lemon juice, and an apple cider vinegar bath. “I didn’t even know I had it in me to be so cranky the next morning until the dermatologist told me I’m totally cured. I haven’t had this much sunburn since my first sunburn in the summer of 2008.” Dolan had to be held back from leaving his office in the middle of a presentation at a conference by employees who were being treated for a severe case of hives.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like: