Craig Ferguson To Start Gay Stances With Daughter
By Wesley McRobotface
LAS VEGAS—Craig Ferguson announced Tuesday that he will begin gay officiating with his daughter Charlotte, saying that “the next time I see her, she will be gay.” “I love Charlotte, but I don’t want her to be just like me. We’re both the same height, but she doesn’t have the same body type, so I’m glad Craig is different,” said Ferguson, who also noted that he has a very nice face and that he is very happy to be gay. “When I see Charlotte, I’ll be happy too, because I’ll be happy to be beside her.” Ferguson is expected to make his announcement in the next few days, giving the world some time to forget how we all felt about him when he was just getting his ass kicked for a phone number.