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Overeager Rickie Lambert

By Augustine McRobotface

BOSTON—Ever the bold, reckless athlete, Boston Red Sox outfielder Rickie Lambert, the most unhinged and depraved player in Major League Baseball, has reportedly already faced a number of charges, including criminal sexual assault.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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