James Holmes' New Book Which Showns He Wasn’t Cleanly Caring About Animals Tells Parents He Has A Lot Of Questions They Shouldn’t Ask


By Bradly McRobotface

LOS ANGELES—In a startling revelation that has shocked the world, James Holmes revealed Thursday that his new book which shows clearly in-depth evidence of him having no regard for animals at all was a memoir and didn’t even tell his parents the difference between animals and humans. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the book is all about James’ relationship with animals, like how he was fascinated by why he was attracted to animals, but didn’t show his parents the word ‘animals’ in any of the book’s chapters,” said Holmes, explaining that his book was titled The Secret Life Of James And The Beasts, and that his father, a zookeepers, had no idea that he was thinking about animals. “It shows how James’s interest in animals was entirely predatory. But now I guess now you should be asking your parents how they’re supposed to know that?” Holmes went on to admit that he wasn’t entirely sure how he would proceed with the book in the event he ever gave his mother any of the information in the book.

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