FBI: Black People Have Better Chance Of Being Coped With Than Whites


By Dante McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Saying that the data was indisputable, the FBI released a report Friday confirming that black people have the better chance of being coped with than whites. “Based on extensive department-wide surveys, we have concluded that black Americans have a far superior chance of being subjected to the general public and subjected to the public’s actions and then being treated as innocent human beings,” said FBI director James Comey, adding that African Americans were more likely to be pursued and arrested as criminals than whites, while whites were more likely to be subjected to the same treatment from a police officer. “What’s more, the percentage of citizens who have been approached and spoken to by an officer has been dramatically higher in black communities. In fact, it is probable that white Americans will have a far greater chance of being under police guard and being reached for weapons throughout the day than black Americans will.” The report went on to state that even if black people were to fare better than whites in terms of being treated with empathy and kindness, it still didn’t mean that they were being treated any better than white people.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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