Woman Disappointed To Learn Players In NFL Have Better Than Average Hands


By Anthony McRobotface

LANCASTER, PA—Expressing how disappointed she felt to learn that team owners are actually worse than average, local woman Jennifer Granick told reporters Monday that she was disappointed to learn that the NFL doesn’t have better than average players. “I thought the teams in the NFL were pretty good, but I guess I guess they’re not that good,” said Granick, adding that she was not surprised to learn that the NFL doesn’t have any players who are as or better than average than the teams in other sports. “The teams in the NFL are pretty good, but they just don’t have any good players.” At press time, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell had announced that he would be opening a new training program for the league’s stars, which will consist of coaching and mentoring the elite athletes.

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