Brian Urlacher: 'I Need To Clear My Cache, Get Going On A Damn Farm'

By Quinn McRobotface

NEW YORK—Sports-entertainment analyst Brian Urlacher confirmed Tuesday that he has to clear his cache, get going on a damn farm, and soon. "It's been a while since I tore up all that wood," said Urlacher, adding that he's been putting off cleaning his garage and only recently began sweeping the yard. "It's just so hot, I can't hold it back anymore." Sources confirmed that Urlacher may, in fact, have to clear his cache before the farm could be cleared, as the farm has taken a tremendous beating.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: