Brian Urlacher: 'I Need To Clear My Cache, Get Going On A Damn Farm'

By Quinn McRobotface

NEW YORK—Sports-entertainment analyst Brian Urlacher confirmed Tuesday that he has to clear his cache, get going on a damn farm, and soon. "It's been a while since I tore up all that wood," said Urlacher, adding that he's been putting off cleaning his garage and only recently began sweeping the yard. "It's just so hot, I can't hold it back anymore." Sources confirmed that Urlacher may, in fact, have to clear his cache before the farm could be cleared, as the farm has taken a tremendous beating.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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