'Man Of Steel' Sequel Bombed By ISIS
By Zachary McRobotface
LOS ANGELES—In what officials called an unprecedented assault on a beloved comic book character, the second installment of the Man Of Steel sequel to be released this fall reportedly was bombed last night. “It’s a shame that someone would do this to Superman, but I can’t blame the movie itself for the bomb that went off last night,” said Warner Bros. president Kevin Tsujihara, adding that the bomb, which is said to have targeted the highly anticipated action sequel to Man Of Steel, was carried out by an individual who was reportedly in the vicinity of the Superman film set and who had not been seen in more than a year. “The guy who did this was clearly bored out of his mind, so he put some steel wires along the exterior of the prop truck, which is why he got the guy to pull the trigger. I don’t think it was that hard, though—just pull out the trigger and he’ll do the rest.” At press time, sources confirmed that a woman had apparently emerged from the rubble and was attempting to help the badly injured Superman.