INDIANAPOLIS—After spending the past few months in an extended period of depression, a man who has been known to experience severe and lasting emotional distress expressed his excitement Monday that he had managed to ingratiate with Ferrari. “They said that they needed me to bring them something, and I was like, ‘What? This is so great,’” said the man who has been known to experience severe and lasting emotional distress, adding that he was devastated that he had been left out. “We’re going to have a lot of fun.” Sources confirmed that the man was happy to have found a Ferrari dealership that actually offered a car for his very own, and would use it as a springboard to finally work up the courage to ask for a loan.