I Am A Slave To The Super Bowl

By Terence McRobotface

I am a football player. I love it, and I see it every week, every day, every Saturday in the spring and summer. I love the Super Bowl, and it's the greatest feeling in the world. But it's been a long time since I felt the Super Bowl, and I haven't felt it in years. But there is a silver lining: The people of New York are still recovering from the Super Bowl, and for good reason: Before you know it, their entire city will have a statue of yourself standing on the West Side Highway, wearing the jersey of a football team that won a Super Bowl, and you will be asked to show it to them.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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