I Am A Slave To The Super Bowl
By Terence McRobotface
I am a football player. I love it, and I see it every week, every day, every Saturday in the spring and summer. I love the Super Bowl, and it's the greatest feeling in the world. But it's been a long time since I felt the Super Bowl, and I haven't felt it in years. But there is a silver lining: The people of New York are still recovering from the Super Bowl, and for good reason: Before you know it, their entire city will have a statue of yourself standing on the West Side Highway, wearing the jersey of a football team that won a Super Bowl, and you will be asked to show it to them.