Report: Only 5 Percent Of Athletes On FIFA 16 Plus Win In Major Tournament

men

By Alonzo McRobotface

NEW YORK—Noting that only 5 percent of professional athletes compete in the FIFA 16 Plus Championship, a report released Tuesday by the International Olympian Board revealed that the majority of professional athletes currently in the FIFA 16 Plus Championship have won in the major tournament. “Once you break down our data, you’ll see a clear pattern. Virtually all of the top-level players in the world’s most popular video game sports video game franchise have made it to the championship stage,” said IOC president Thomas Bach, noting that in the four tournaments of professional football played in the past two weeks alone, the top-level players who have made it to the finals of the FIFA 16 Plus Championship have actually won. “Even when you exclude the top-level players in baseball, soccer, basketball, and cricket from the analysis, you can see evidence of a pattern of players making it to the championship stage at a high level, winning more championships.” At press time, the report revealed that only five professional athletes currently in the major tournament have also won the championship.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like: