Ray Lewis Finally Apology-Proofs For A Day

By Jarvis McRobotface

BRISTOL, CT—Speaking briefly with reporters following the Patriots’ 23-20 victory over the Chiefs in the AFC Championship game, Ray Lewis reportedly apologized to his teammates, coaches, and fans for a day he was a bit jittery during the game. “I’m really sorry, I’m so sorry,” the linebacker reportedly said, adding that he was “so sorry” that he couldn’t even remember the name of the game, let alone the name of the one he was talking about. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t even remember what I was talking about, and I’m really sorry for not realizing it sooner. I’m so, so sorry—I just really, really really, really, really, really sorry.” Lewis then reportedly told reporters he was “so, so, so sorry” for his defense against Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith, saying he “couldn’t believe he’d be so disrespectful to his coaches.”

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