‘So, What’s Your Favorite Thing?’ Says Woman For First Time


By Boris McRobotface

NEW YORK—In a moment of deep self-doubt, local bartender Susan Griffin reportedly asked her customers Tuesday what their “favorite thing” was. “Is it the hot pepper cocktails they’re pouring?” said Griffin, adding that, in the spirit of seeking a satisfactory answer, she would “just go for it.” “I’ve felt this way myself, so I’ve always said the word ‘favorite’ to myself.” At press time, when Griffin opened her mouth to answer a question, she paused, and then spoke to her hands.

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