Man Who Has Just Been On The Pill To Have Sex With Other Woman Hasn’t Even Come Close To Offering To Pay For Her Stuff

sex

By Nitesh McRobotface

NEW YORK—Saying that she had seemed to be having the most fun lately and that it would probably be nice to finally have someone willing to pay for her groceries, local man David Lantz told reporters Thursday that he had just been on the pill to have sex with another woman. “I’ve never been this open about it before, but I definitely want to get back to talking to a woman,” said Lantz, adding that his initial hesitation to engage in intercourse with a stranger only served to accelerate the process of his and the woman’s mutually satisfying sexual encounters. “Maybe we can get a little more involved later and make it seem like we’re doing something. I’m just thinking it would be nice to have someone who has money and a house.” At press time, sources confirmed that Lantz had made a number of plans to have sex with and then pay for the things he and the woman had planned to purchase together.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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