Dez Bryant Nervously Applying Comb

By Dewey McRobotface

DALLAS— Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant was reportedly "stunned" by the New Orleans Saints' mercilessness in their blitzing, per-snap pursuit of defensive end Cameron Jordan, and by their refusal to blitz. "I'm not even sure I'm on the right side of the line of scrimmage anymore," Bryant reportedly said after the Saints' first blitz, his head spinning. "I'm totally out of breath, and the Saints are going to get me. They're going to . . . oh, I don't know." Dez Bryant's final words were to leave the field of play.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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