Study Finds Majority Of Americans Not Looking Forward To Getting A Job

studies

By Brant McRobotface

WASHINGTON—Finding that over half of the respondents said they were planning to apply for a job within the next year, a study released Friday by the Department of Labor found that the vast majority of Americans are not looking forward to getting a job. “Our data clearly shows that the vast majority of Americans are still waiting on the job market for a job that will allow them to have some sort of standard of living,” said Department spokesman Jason Benson, adding that the study found that the vast majority of Americans have been unemployed for the past six months and that they have been forced to find a full-time job without being able to afford their basic living expenses. “Of all the people we interviewed, we found that nearly three quarters of them said there was some sort of career track they were interested in, and the vast majority of them were looking for a job that would provide them with health insurance, a decent retirement, and not have to worry about paying off student loans. The vast majority of Americans are left wondering where they would be without a job that allowed them to shoplift products at a local Asian market.” The study went on to state that the vast majority of Americans are still struggling to find a job that would provide them with enough money to survive on, let alone afford the necessities of a home.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like: