Man Already Really Hoping He Can Get Around To Writing Every Week


By Beau McRobotface

LEXINGTON, KY—Saying that he hasn’t even gotten around to writing all of this week, area man Eric Blakely told reporters Tuesday that he already feels pretty psyched he can get around to it. “I just got a hand-me-down copy of [the New York Times] this morning, and I’m really psyched I can crank out a whole column every week,” said Blakely, who said he was looking forward to the very first article he can throw together, no matter how small, and which one he can keep track of, no matter how long. “I have so many things lined up right now. I just got the second-to-last article out after some emails, and then I’m going to flip through every one of them, and I can’t even take notes—I’m so psyched I can keep track of all this.” At press time, Blakely was able to pull off a complete turnaround, putting out an article a month after that.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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