American Dad Disheartened By How Often His Car's License Plate Looks Like He’s Doing Something Wrong


By Mariano McRobotface

CLEVELAND—Expressing his hope that things would eventually improve, local 34-year-old father Bernard Schwartz told reporters Wednesday he is deeply saddened by how frequently his car’s license plate looks like he’s doing something wrong. “This is a big deal to me, but, these days, I’m just going about my daily life in a way that I’m not doing anything that’s wrong,” said Schwartz, adding that with every passing year, his car’s license plate seems to be more and more of a source of serious concern. “From the time I first got it in the early 1990s, it’s always been a big deal to me, but since then, I’ve seen it go up in size, and it’s gotten to the point where even the most basic things I do are a big deal to me. It’s a big deal to me, and I’m going through a lot of stuff right now, but trying in vain to get it back down.” Schwartz went on to admit, however, that the only way to fix the situation would be for his neighbor, a man who has a license plate that he’s clearly not doing anything wrong.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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