Man Who Really Good At Closing Business Deal Has Already Received $1,000 From Another Business

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By Stuart McRobotface

PORTLAND, ME—Saying that the man had done an excellent job, a local man who truly excels at closing a business deal was sitting on a $1,000 check Monday, sources confirmed. “Oh man, I’m really impressed,” said the man, who has been known to be a master at finding a way to pocket a few hundred dollars from a business he has always deemed a waste. “I hope it’s a good deal. I’ll definitely go in looking for it, and when I find it, I’ll definitely pay it off.” At press time, sources confirmed that the man had been able to make a quick and easy use of his new $1,000 check by giving the cashier a few hundred dollars from his old mortgage and credit cards.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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