Area Man Disappointed To See How Few People Get The Game


By Chad McRobotface

DENVER—Despite his lifelong dream of meeting the people who would get to see him play, local man Peter Paquette expressed disappointment Thursday at the number of people who are still not able to get to see him play. “I’m really excited to see what I do when I’m not lying on my couch in my hotel suite,” said the 34-year-old, who has been eyeing the same concession stands and getting-your-own-shelter-hot-dog-and-beer specials as the ones he imagined he would get to see at a Giants game. “It’s kind of hard to believe that just about everyone I know is a stranger to me. I would have thought they would have noticed me, but no.” At press time, Paquette was reportedly disappointed after realizing that no one was able to see him laugh, or even sit in the same room with him.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

You may also like: