WASHINGTON—Noting that “I am the goddamn epitome of a badass,” the nation’s national anthemist reportedly told a crowd gathered in the Capitol rotunda Friday that “I am a pretty badass,” a reference to the “super-basta badass” spoken by the president and the “hot little fucker” who serves as the nation’s “most badass” national anthemist. “I’ve been a bad ass since I was a little boy, and I’m not afraid to show it,” said the “Big Badass” before gesturing to the crowd, which reportedly erupted into a standing ovation after the national anthemist’s statement. “You know, I’ve been a pretty bad ass since I was a little boy, and I’ll be damned if I have to tell you why I’m a pretty bad ass.” The nation’s national anthemist then reportedly walked over to the lectern and delivered the speech “Fuck Yeah,” to the approximately 15,000 “I Admit,” “I Am A Pretty Badass,” “I Am A Badass,” and “Me, Me, Me” “I Admit” ‘I Am A Badass,� ‘I Admit’’ ‘I’m A Badass,’ ‘I Admit’ ‘I Do’’ ‘I Do Admit.’”