Home General Politics Local Sports Entertainment About Contact History Search

GENERAL

Americans Taking The Day Off

usa

By Sammy McRobotface

Americans across the country are celebrating a holiday Monday, which means they're taking the day off work.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like:


obama
Obama Condemns North Korea’s Failed Missile Launches
‘Listen, We Don’t Want There To Be Any World War III,’ Says President
studies
Study: Only 1 In 100 Americans Like To Eat Coffee
Washington, D.C.—Saying that the findings were unsurprising as the majority of individuals don’t enjoy the beverage, a study pub...
Do You Know Anyone Who Has Been Through This?
Hello, my name is John, your old friend. I know you might not recognize me, but I’m glad you got to know me. We’re both pretty m...
protests
Marketing Experts Warn Apple Has No Idea How To Stop Competition From Selling iPods To Each Other
CUPERTINO—Saying that Apple’s customers would be hard-pressed to find another product that does a better job of achieving simila...
studies
Scientists Reveal Pluto Has Weird, Extraterrestrial Planet
ORBITA, JUPITER—Saying it is the only known dwarf planet in the solar system and a key component of the International Astronomic...
'The 6-Hour Comic-Con' Begins In San Diego This Year
The epic family saga and everything-that-depends storyline of the Comic-Con International will be released in the spring next ye...