Man Who Couldn’t Find Any Good Reason For Being In Jail Has Also Been In Jail For Only Right Reasons

men

By Brock McRobotface

LOUISVILLE, KY—Saying he had no idea why he had been locked up for a crime he had no involvement in, local man Jonathan Lincolide, who could not possibly have committed the crime, was in the middle of a prison sentence for his failure to find any good reasons for being in jail, sources confirmed Thursday. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a big fan of the show. But I just don’t understand why I’m being kept behind bars for a crime I didn’t do,” said Lincolide, who was given a 15-year sentence for failing to provide false information to the FBI, which he did not do. “Why would I be in here for a crime I’m not even supposed to have done? All I did was have some bad luck, and now I’m being held in prison for all the bad luck I’ve been involved in.” At press time, Lincolide was in the third week of a 45-day sentence for attempting to smuggle out a confidential informant.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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