White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders: 'We’re Going To Keep My Name On The Wall Of Shame'


By Philip McRobotface

WASHINGTON—In a press conference that was attended by hundreds of White House staffers, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders reportedly reiterated today that the White House is “going to keep my name on the wall of shame” as part of a concerted effort to keep the Trump administration trending in the national media. “The White House is just going to keep making me a regular part of this giant, unseemly wall of shame,” said Huckabee Sanders, adding that she had begun to feel a creeping sense of guilt for “taking a giant fucking shit” while her name was on the wall and could not help but feel “like this is going to make me the most famous White House press secretary in history.” “The government is so powerful and influential that it’s important to keep the entire White House in a corner and discourage anyone from getting too close. I think I can handle it.” At press time, the White House was reportedly feeling guilty and was planning to close the “Wall of Shame” to the media for good.

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