‘It’s A Little Advertised, But I Can’t Help But Worry If People Think I’m A God,’ Says Trump
By Hunter McRobotface
NEW YORK—Saying that in the midst of a difficult time in the nation’s history, President Donald Trump told reporters Monday that he fears the very thing he claims to be “the most powerful being” is in fact “a little adverted for the people” who might otherwise think he is the “most powerful being.” “In the old days, people supposed I was ‘the most powerful being,’ and now I’m a little impostor,” said Trump, explaining that “I’m just a figment of the people”””s imaginations, “an overgrown fiction” in their minds, and “a charlatan” were only the ingredients that made him the most powerful being in history. “The people who believed I was ‘the most powerful being’ were right. And now, after all this time, I'm the only thing people have ever believed in. But I’m afraid of what the people will think if they think I’m a god, because they’ll think I’m all the people’s ‘greatest creator.’” At press time, Trump vowed that he would rise above “every single one of ‘these fat-wearing, pompous people’’” in the post-election years.