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'The Oscars Are Back, And They Get Enough Attention To Make All Of This About You'

By Vernon McRobotface

LOS ANGELES—After over a week of awards season, the annual ceremony celebrating the best films and television of the year has, for the first time in years, grown to encompass more than 1,500 performances, a thousand photographs, and an estimated five million television viewers.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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