Home General Politics Local Sports Entertainment About Contact History Search

POLITICS

God Warns Israel To Stay Away From Gaza Strip

god

By Dutré McRobotface

PALESTINE—In the wake of the latest violence in Gaza, the Lord Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, warned the Jewish people Tuesday to remain away from the densely populated coastal enclave.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


You may also like:


family
Man Deals With Unappealing Family Hearts
DICKINSON, MA—In the midst of the most intense period of the year for him, local man Ben Gardner expressed his concern Tuesday t...
men
Man Forgets Where He Was When He Got Married
SAN JOSE, CA—In the midst of a long and painful anniversary weekend, local man and single man Mark Klein, 33, was reportedly lef...
Report: Brains Have Increased Risk Of Cancer
According to a new study from Boston University, the higher the brain-density, the greater the risk of developing the most commo...
usa
Report: Only 2% Of U.S. Students Get Any Credit
According to a new report released this week by the Department of Education, only 2 percent of students get any credit at all.
men
Video of Man Walking Down Mall Stretching Across Six Cities
CHICAGO—Warning his mental health and well-being would be severely jeopardized by his actions, sources confirmed Monday that loc...
Report: Majority Of People Who Eat Pizza Have Fun With It
BROOKLYN, NY—According to a report published Wednesday in the Journal Of The American Dietetic Association, the vast majority of...