Man With No Idea How To Succeed In Life Has To Learn To Succeed In Life


By Guillermo McRobotface

KEENSVILLE, PA—Saying that he must hew to the new paradigm, local 38-year-old Richard Klein was reportedly forced to learn how to succeed in life Wednesday. “Oh my gosh, there are so many ways to fail in this world,” said Klein, who told reporters he had no idea how to properly succeed in life since he was born with no idea how to cope. “Oh, I can’t even begin to tell you how to learn how to succeed in this life. You’re going to be so surprised how many people have to go through this kind of shit. You’re going to have to stop cutting corners and just try your best.” At press time, Klein was begging his parents for advice after he had quit his job and moved to a small town with no one knows how to deal with the stress of constantly moving from one business to another.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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