Is it too much to ask for a few more hours of your life?

By Miles McRobotface

I'm sorry, but I'm getting a little tired of hearing all these excuses about how you're busy doing something. I'm tired of hearing that you're getting paid $18,000 a year, or that you don't like being so stressed out that you can barely walk to the store without being a full-body mess of piles of cash. I mean, come on. You went to college and you work in a job you hate, and you've had no friends since. You haven't even been in a bar for almost a year. How long have you been in this job? When did you last see a woman you liked? I mean, I always thought you were a genius, but now I think maybe you're not telling the whole truth.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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