Report: Most NFL Fans Don’t Know Who To Fuck In NFL Playoff Game
By Bradley McRobotface
NEW YORK—Saying the sport may be entering a new era of fan frustration and vitriol, a report released Thursday by the University of Michigan found that most NFL fans don’t know who to fuck in the NFL playoff game. “Despite the fact that the league’s fans are entitled to their opinions, we can’t tell you who to fuck in the Super Bowl,” said lead researcher Aaron Henderson, noting that in the event of a tie, most die-hard NFL fans are completely blindsided by the rival team’s offensive line, the best players on their teams, and the one or two players who play for the other team. “We’ve seen this kind of thing happen, but most fans just want to support the winner of the title, and they probably don’t have the guts to say ‘Fuck this asshole,’ so we’re just going to keep quiet.” The report went on to say that most NFL fans, however, seem to be willing to shut up when the opposing team’s best player is Antonio Brown.