The Roommate Has Some Dressing To Do

By Rufus McRobotface

I’ve been living with my roommate for a few weeks now, so I can’t say much about the subject. I have to wait on a few things, though. First, my roommate and I are getting on just fine. That’s why I’m not going to get on any of his things, like the guy in the basement who was the first to notice his girlfriend was pregnant. (I’m also not going to get on the TV, my computer, my phone—it’s a little embarrassing, but I'm also not into that sort of thing.) The second thing is, I don’t want to be too strict with things. I’m not going to call out the fact that he is making out with the other girl in the room too loudly in front of everyone. But I am fairly strict with the seating arrangements, so we’ll just have to watch it for the duration of our stay.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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