New Study Finds Majority Of Americans Have Never Seen A Movie

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By Nelson McRobotface

WASHINGTON—In an unprecedented and unexpected finding that has shocked the nation, the Joint Commission on Taxation released a new report Friday revealing that the majority of Americans have never seen a movie. “We estimate that approximately a third of all U.S. citizens have never seen a motion picture, and that this is because fewer than one in five of them have ever seen a movie,” said Chairman Thomas Jefferson, adding that the study’s findings were especially noteworthy because of their size, meaning that they must have been viewed in order to be counted. “The JCT has found that more than 99 percent of Americans have never seen a video game, and vice versa. We are currently working to understand the extent to which video games are viewed, and how and why they are played.” The JCT, which is tasked with examining the economic impact of the nation’s entertainment industries, will publish its findings in a report on the impact of movies and other forms of entertainment next year.

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Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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