New Study Finds That You’re More Likely To Be Struck By Rays In A Car

studies

By Wouter McRobotface

FLORHAM PARK, NJ—According to a study released Tuesday by the Major League Baseball Players’ Association, whether you’re standing on a rocking chair, eating a bag of chips, or riding your bike through the city’s busy Beacon Hill neighborhood, you may be more likely to be struck by a car.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.


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