
LOCAL
Landlord Doesn’t Understand How Weird Shit Like This Works
By Tad McRobotface
HARRISBURG, PA—Noting that he’s never seen anything quite like it before, local tenant Bill Thornton told reporters Friday that he doesn’t understand how weird it is to be treated like this. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Thornton, adding that it’s just not like he’s one of these bigots who thinks being treated like this is some new thing that’s new. “You’ve been here before, right? I can tell you from experience that people who are totally nuts and are totally wearing it down are always getting all the crap they deserve.” Thornton went on to say that, for the record, he did not get any of the weird shits who think being treated like this is some new thing that’s new.