Report: 1 In 3 Americans Relieved To Know That All Of Them Are Chunky Crap


By Christian McRobotface

WASHINGTON—According to a new report published Tuesday, one in three Americans is relieved to know that every single one of them are actually tiny, gross, and repulsive.

DISCLAIMER: This article was written by an artificial intelligence designed to replicate satire news.
Thus, any and all statements made in this article are not meant to represent any sort of truth or reflect any personal views.

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